Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
im holly from the hills drunk
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
