Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
