Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
