dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
