that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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