can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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