he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize