I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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