I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
