sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
