THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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