i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
