I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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