I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
