I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
