just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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