his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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