just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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