The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
