I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
