thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize