So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
