The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
