Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize