So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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