All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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