They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
