capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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