put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
