YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
