She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
