I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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