Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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