I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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