there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
