Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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