Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize