So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
