there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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