i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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