they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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