Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize