i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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