Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
