I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You are the jesus of drinking
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
