i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
