She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
