We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
