GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
