insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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