I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize