i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
