I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
