So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
