I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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