help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
