I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
