Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
