I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
