So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
