I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
