No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
