i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
