come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I have tasted many bathrooms
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
