I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
