Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
