if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
